Read About Others’ Open Adoption Experiences
When I first started my adoption journey, I wanted a white stork to just drop the baby off on my doorstep. I wanted to see him or her in a Victorian wicker basket swaddled in a pastel pink or blue blanket. I imagined opening the door, gazing down on my precious heir, and with one fell swoop, parenthood would begin.
After years of dealing with infertility and several pregnancy losses, I desperately wanted a break, something easy that would bring me into parenthood. As usual, I discovered that adoption is not always easy. However, the rewards are great for the informed and caring. After speaking to adoptive parents and reading some valuable books on open adoption, I had a new awareness of the value of openness.
We eventually adopted a beautiful little boy at the age of five weeks, after a long, drawn out and difficult adoption. But, even after the heartache and pain, I still believed that my son deserved to know about his birth parents and that his adoption was to be celebrated.
For without my son’s beloved mother, I wouldn’t be a mother myself. We both deeply loved the same child and wanted the best for his life. The love and courage his birth mother had to give to my son to me allowed me to feel some of the heartbreak and loss that she and most birth mothers naturally experience.
Stories from Birth Mothers
“I know the adoptive parents of my baby really well. They live in another town not far away. We went to lunch, like, four times. I talked with the mom on the phone. She asked me if I liked the name Sophia, and I probably wouldn’t have even thought of that name, and I loved it! They came to the hospital when I was admitted for the delivery. Knowing them made me feel good; I mean giving up the baby was still hard, but knowing that Sophia was going to be raised by this great couple, that made me feel good.” -Rachel
“It has been almost a year since the little bundle of joy that I’m proud to call my birth son has been born. I looked through tons of profiles while I was pregnant trying to find the family who could raise my baby. One couple always stood out because the woman reminded me of my mother. I ended up talking to a few couples that didn’t work out and as my due date came closer, I was worried if I could find the right couple. About a week before I had the baby, I started talking to these wonderful people. They came to the hospital the morning after I had my baby and I knew that they were the right ones. They keep me posted and send me lots of pictures. I’m truly grateful to have found them. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, next to actually giving birth. He will always be my birth son. These people and their families have taken in this child and given him the love, care and support a child needs to grow. I cannot express enough how truly grateful I am. I never gave up my child; I’ve gained a second family.”
“Pam (Elijah’s adoptive mother) is such a blessing to me. Knowing that my son is safe and loved is all I ever wanted but I did not expect the bond that she and I would share as Mothers of our beautiful baby boy. He is so big Libby. I told Pam that she is going to make him POP!!! I am sure she has sent you pictures already. She keeps me posted. I wouldn’t want to share my son with anyone else but her! Thank you again for bringing Pam and Ed in my life. They have turned my pain, and worry into joy and peace with my decision.” -Laura
“I can’t believe it’s been 3 years since the adoption. You were so great during the whole process. You and Lifetime will always have a special place in my heart. Thanks to you I was able to place my son with a wonderful, loving family and they have also been a Godsend. I don’t worry about how he’s being treated or raised and they send pictures from time to time so I’m able to see how much he’s grown. I thank you so much! I would’ve been so lost without your help. I appreciate you more than you’ll ever know. Thank you for all you’ve done for me. I pray God continues to bless you for all you do for birth moms like me and families like Kim and Steven. Jordan is a happy, intelligent and well cared for child and knowing that I sleep with a lighter heart. Much love and thanks to you and the staff at Lifetime Adoption :)” -April